Georgia
by Captain Cynthia
Summary: All right, so we've all heard the story: A New Who fan gets dropped into 9, 10, or 11's TARDIS, and everything's all "Woohoo, this is my dream life!". But what happens if the New Who fan doesn't get dropped exactly where she expects? What if she's in a situation where she has no idea at all about what's going to happen? Expect sarcasm and bad jokes.
1. In Which I Appear in Retro Land

**AN: Hey fellas! Guess what! I'm not dead… I think. I know I haven't updated in literally YEARS, and I've gotten into SO many new fandoms in that time. I actually have a TON of story ideas, but so far they're not done yet. This was the first story which I completed at least two chapters for so far, which means I'll always have a finished chapter while I'm working on the next one, if everything goes to plan. Don't expect frequent updates, I am the laziest person to walk the planet (hence the not-updating-for-TWO-FREAKIN-YEARS thing).**

**In fact, I just realized that the last time I updated a fanfiction AT ALL was exactly June 22, 2012. So, almost in time for the 2nd Anniversary of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING POSTED! Yay!**

**And sorry for all my PoM fic fans. I'm just not into that anymore. **

**Sorry for the long AN, now onto the story! And always remember: I do not look over stories very carefully (again, very lazy) and I have no beta (betas, how do they work?) so please point out any typos and grammar mistakes and I'll try to fix 'em!**

**Disclaimer: What is the point of these disclaimers anyway? If I owned Doctor Who I wouldn't be typing this up because I'd be busy making actual episodes! **

"Georgia? Georgia wake up this instant!"

I groggily opened my eyes and found myself in a classroom. A classroom? How the hell did I get here? Last thing I knew I was all cozy and comfortable in bed. And as if randomly waking up in a classroom wasn't strange enough, everyone was dressed up in really old fashioned clothes. I wondered if there was a retro-themed prom going on that day. And the teacher seemed to know who I was, which was odd because I have never seen her before in my entire life.

"Georgia, I cannot tolerate you falling asleep in class anymore. Go right now to the principal's office, and I would like a word with you after school."

I have to say, I did not like this situation one bit. I was having a delightful dream involving the Eleventh Doctor and a picnic before I was rudely awakened by a seemingly strict old-school teacher. She was dressed in 1960's style like all the students, and seemed to be a history teacher by the way her classroom was decorated with pictures of historical people and artifacts. And her hair...I seriously had no idea hair could even DO that, poofing up everywhere. I was sitting at the desk, eyes blinking slowly, trying to figure out what to do. The obvious course of action was to just do what she said and go to the principal's office. On the other hand, I had no idea where I was or even where the principal's office was. I quickly glanced at a name tag sitting neatly on her desk and my mouth took over before my brain even had a chance to protest.

"Hey, uh, Ms. Wright? This might sound ridiculous, but I'm not even sure where I am or how I got here. In fact, I'm not even sure what the year is anymore."

The whole classroom burst into giggles except for this one girl who was looking at me rather oddly, and I'm sure my face resembled a tomato at that point. Usually, I would respond to this with a sarcastic remark and maybe a rude gesture, but the situation was so absurd I couldn't be bothered to hide my embarrassment. The teacher looked very unamused, but still somewhat concerned.

"If you think these jokes are going to get you out of trouble then you are very much mistaken. Now go to the office right this instant!"

I'm not sure what I was expecting. Maybe I wanted the teacher to explain to me in great detail exactly how I got here or why I'm even here? For the evil mastermind behind this scheme to reveal his/her top-secret plan? That never works in movies, why would it work here in Sixties' Land?

"Please, just tell me where I am and what year this is. And maybe even who I am, because I can't be sure of anything anymore."

"These jokes are not funny, Georgia! I don't know what you're trying to achieve by telling them but if you don't stop right now I will-"

Thankfully, she was interrupted by the school bell. I ran out of the classroom as fast as my legs could take me, trying to figure out what the hell was happening. I faintly heard on my way out the teacher asking some Susan or other to stay after class, which was great, because that meant she might've forgotten about me. I just got out of the school when I suddenly realized that I had absolutely nowhere to go. I slowed down, and sat on the sidewalk next to the school. I guess I was sitting there wallowing in self-pity for a long time, because before I knew it, there weren't much students left walking out. The only student I could see was that girl who gave me that strange look when everyone else was laughing. She looked familiar from somewhere, and seemed nice enough, so I started to follow her home. I felt very sneaky, kind of like a very creepy spy. Yes, I felt weird for following someone home, but she looked like the kind of person that would help a suddenly-homeless person like me, so I thought that maybe, just maybe, she could give me dinner and a bed for the night.

Right as I was starting to have second thoughts, she walked into a building. This building looked more like a junkyard than a house, so I hesitated a bit. Was she homeless like me? There was no point in me following her anymore if she didn't even have a bed for herself, much less some random girl she doesn't even know. But I was extremely curious about this girl, so I kept following her. My heart leapt into the air when I saw a blue police box in there. My brain cheered with glee. There was _obviously _only one explanation for this: some mysterious force has dropped me into the Doctor Who universe! Just like all those fanfictions I've read! The sensible side of my brain said that the chance of that actually happening was absolutely zero, and the other part, who was busy partying like there was no tomorrow, told its logical counterpart to shut the hell up. I really hoped I would meet the Eleventh Doctor, he was my absolute FAVORITE. Even the thought of Ten or Nine made me really happy. I really hoped it wasn't any Classic Who Doctors, they never interested me and were all just so...old.

Alright, possibilities from here if I enter the police box: either I stumble on the most fantastic time travel machine EVER, or I just walk into an empty police box, no harm done. So it's basically awesome option and real-world option. Eh, I have nothin' to lose by trying to enter this box.

That girl, who the non-sensible part of my brain guessed was a companion, walked right into the supposed TARDIS. I was aching to just run straight into the TARDIS and start the time travel party, but I heard people coming, so I dove behind a pile of some mysterious junk and hid. It was that history teacher again, but this time she seemed to have brought her boyfriend! They looked around for a 'Susan', and I stopped paying attention. All of a sudden, there was an old man. I couldn't really see what he looked like, but he sounded like an old man so I took a wild guess. They talked some more, demanded to see Susan, blah blah blah. I got bored and decided to try and sneak into the TARDIS while they were busy doing whatever old people do. Apparently, I wasn't as sneaky as I thought, and they all turned around to face me.

"Georgia? Whatever are you doing here?"

Oh great, Ms. Wright, the one person I managed to upset today noticed I was here.

"Well, now I'm in trouble!" I said with an overly cheerful grin on my face, trying (and failing) to brighten up the situation.

**Well, I'm not one to beg much, but I do like comments on my writing mostly because of my pretty bad self esteem issues. For example, I think this chapter is absolute garbage, mostly because I write most often at 2 am when I can't sleep so it's the sleep-deprived ramblings of a sleepy mind. But I publish anyway, just to see how the general public views my work. But I'll have no idea until you click that little button! Come on, click the little clicky thing!**


	2. In Which I Stumble Upon Grumpy Old Guy

**AN: Enjoy the story! If you leave a review, I might be motivated to update more often, but the choice is really up to you. **

The old man glared at my hand, which was suspiciously close to the beloved TARDIS I attempted to sneak into. And, dear readers, if you'll remember the end of last chapter, this attempt didn't go very well at all.

"And who might this be, hmm? Just another accomplice of yours I presume!"

"You presume wrong, then," Teacher's Boyfriend Guy, here to save the day! I grin at him. "This here is one of my students, and a rather troublesome one at that." My grin falters at his words.

"Who, me? Troublesome? Hehehe, why would you ever say that?" So apparently this boyfriend guy was another teacher, another one I've managed to upset. Oh come on, Lady Luck, you're just being lazy with me, aren't you?!

"Nevermind that now, Georgia. What are you even doing here?"

I chuckled nervously and gulped a bit, deciding to tell them at least part of the truth. "Well, I think I saw one of my classmates come down here, and I just wanted a home to sleep in, so I followed her."

"Don't you have your own home?" Ms. Wright asked with concern in her voice.

"Well... I used to," I said in a really sad voice, making this up as I go along, "But then it got burned down in the most horrendous fire!" Insert fake sob here, a sniffle there. "I just needed a warm bed for the night, although not too warm, you know, because...fire bad." I ended lamely, then proceeded to blow my nose into my shirt sleeve, gaining looks of pity and disgust from all the adults in the room.

"You see, even this girl says she saw Susan down here! You must believe us now!" Blah blah blah. I wasn't very interested in what Ms. Wright's teacher boyfriend dude had to say, but hey, if it makes me better in his eyes, at least I'll have _someone_ on my side.

"Don't you think you're being rather high handed, young man?" The old man claimed. Uh oh, seems like I somehow managed to squeeze my way into an argument. Not good. Abort mission, abort!

"All three of you seem to share the same delusion of there being a girl in here." Oh great, now the old man thinks we're crazy.

"You thought you saw a young girl enter the yard. You imagine you heard her voice. You believe she might be in there. It's not very substantial, is it?"

"But why won't you help us?" You know the argument hasn't gone your way when the history teacher starts asking for help from the person she's arguing with.

"I'm not hindering you. If you both want to make fools of yourselves, I suggest you do what you said you'd do. Go and find a policeman," Aw crap, now the old man's bringing the coppers into this?! Screw that, I'm getting into that TARDIS!

...

But first, let these folks continue their argument while I-

"While you nip off quietly in the other direction?" HOLY CRAP, BOYFRIEND TEACHER DUDE IS A MIND READER! MAYDAY, MAYDAY, FREAKIN' MAYDAY!

"Insulting," Old Guy says all old-man-like.

...

Oh, Apparently-Not-A-Mind-Reader Boyfriend Dude was talking about Old Guy.

"There's only one way in and out of this yard. I shall be here when you get back. I want to see your faces when you try to explain away your behaviour to a policeman," Ugh, I hate Old Guy. He's definitely hiding something.

Boyfriend Dude grabs my arm and I squirm a bit in his grasp. Hey, not cool, bro. Not cool.

"Nevertheless, we're going to find one. Come on, Barbara, and let's find Georgia somewhere to sleep while we're at it."

"What are you doing out there?" That girl from earlier that everyone seems to be calling 'Susan' is in the TARDIS after all. Oh, nice to know, we're not crazy. Apparently her voice, though, makes everybody go crazy with the "She's in there!" and Old Man going all "Close the door!" Suddenly, the two teachers both go inside dragging me along. YESSSSSS! TARDIS TIME! SCOOOOOOORE! I would finally get to see the Doctor and it would all be wonderful and I could have adventures and-

My happy demeanor changed at the sight of the room inside.


	3. In Which I Survive a Deathgrip

**AN: Sooooooooooooooo… this was unexpected. But I ended up finishing Chapter Four really quickly, so guess what? Chapter Three gets put up only two days after Chapter Two! That's just how nice I am. **

**Enjoy. **

Alright, here is when I started panicking. This wasn't going according to plan at all! The Doctor isn't inside, though this 'Susan' everyone is talking about is in there. Is she some future female Doctor? Naaah, she's not fiddling with the TARDIS or anything, just listening to music. The actual Doctor is probably just in the library or something. But the TARDIS just looks so different with all these white circle-y things everywhere. Ugh, it's so bland compared to what I've seen on Doctor Who. This Future-Doctor really needs a better interior decorator. You know, I have to say, I am rather disappointed. I was _really _hoping to know about all future events, maybe save the day with all my future knowledge of the episodes, but _nooooo_. Mysterious forces _had_ to drop me in the one place/time where I have absolutely no idea what to do. Everything I know, all my knowledge is completely useless because it already happened! I'm sure of this, because I have never seen this TARDIS interior on the show, so he must've set it after the last episode I've seen. Just my luck. As I was thinking this with so much self-pity I could sell it by the gallon, Old Man said to Susan, "Close the door, Susan. I believe these people are known to you," Alright, so Old Man obviously knows this Susan girl contrary to what he's been saying before. Interesting, maybe they're both companions?

"They're two of my schoolteachers and one of my classmates," she said to Old Man. Wait, she recognizes me from that school? Well, I sure as hell don't know her. I may have been following her home, but that doesn't mean she's my best buddy, okay?

She turns to Wright and Boyfriend Dude, who still has my arm in his deathgrip. "What are you doing here?" Oh? Now you're talking to me? Well, I want to know that as much as you do, believe me. Ms. Two-Wrongs-Make-a-Wright seemed to be confused about the general situation, as was Boyfriend Dude.

"Where are we?" Wright asked.

"They must have followed you. That ridiculous school. I knew something like this would happen if we stayed in one place too long!"

Old Man seems very grumpy, I really hope the Doctor will show up soon. I totally would've started exploring the TARDIS if Boyfriend Dude didn't have the deadliest deathgrip I've ever experience, and believe it or not, I've felt a lot of tight grips. Curse my stupid wimpy arms! I regret every moment I've skipped PE now, and I have to pay the price. But skipping PE was totally worth it right up to this very moment.

"But why should they follow me?" Once again, my mouth decided to take control of the situation while my brain wept bitter tears of shame and regret. "I don't know about those two, but I actually followed you searching for a cozy place to sleep! And my, does your house look cozy..." Gah! Stupid, stupid Georgia! Susan and Grumpy Old Man don't need to know you're a crazy homeless stalker! It's already bad enough that you had to play that card with the two teachers.

"Is this really where you live, Susan?" No, she just _stumbled_ upon a bigger-on-the-inside time machine and decided to listen to music because she _felt like_ doing that in a place she's _never_ been in.

"Yes," was the obvious reply from Susan.

"And what's wrong with it?" Old Man seems kinda offended. C'mon man, it's not your very own time machine. Chill out. Just please call for the Doctor or something.

"But it was just a telephone box!"

Boyfriend Dude releases his grip just slightly at this statement, seemingly distracted by the conversation, but still not enough for me to escape. Maybe if he just keeps talking, he might forget about me...

"Perhaps." Urgh, now Old Man isn't just grumpy, he's mysterious too.

"And this is your grandfather?"

"Yes,"

Oh, okay. So this situation is probably like when Donna's grandfather tagged along for a tiny bit. Nothing out of the ordinary for the Doctor, even though he generally doesn't seem to like bringing family along. Alright, so Susan's the companion, her grumpy grandfather is tagging along for the ride, the Doctor is nowhere to be seen, and I'm stuck with two teachers. Crappity crap crap.

Well, this conversation got very boring very quickly, so I just stopped listening. Boyfriend Dude, however, was so interested in the conversation, that his Death Grip of Doom was released just enough for me to slowly slip my hand from his grip while everyone else continued talking about illusions and television or whatever. Haha, those jerks didn't even notice me leave! The TARDIS is finally mine to explore! I've been wanting to do this ever since I first saw this place in the episode "Rose"! It took all my willpower not to laugh from excitement, in case I catch their attention. I ran down the seemingly endless corridor looking for any room even mentioned in the show, like the library! I wonder if it will really have a swimming pool.

But it seemed like the TARDIS had other plans for me as I entered that endless maze of hallways.


	4. In Which I Get into Timey Wimey Trouble

**AN: Sorry for not posting for ages, I've been a bit lazy, but helping a friend out with Fanfiction made me realize just how much of a lazy butt I've been. So here's the next chapter! Please excuse any minor typos/misspellings/etc., because my sleep-deprived brain is trying very hard. **

Alright, where was I? Skipping around the TARDIS, having the time of my life, looking for the Doctor, but nooooo the TARDIS had to go and be such a bitch! The ambient noises of the TARDIS seemed to have taken an angry tone at that thought. Right, this place is kinda telepathic. Well, you over-complicated Delorean, if you want me to be nicer, just show me where the Doctor is! Stop leading me back to the control room! This is getting extremely frustrating...plus, I don't want everyone to know I've wandered off! Or do you _want_ me to be back in the Deathgrip, you stupid machine? Are you really _that_ heartless? The TARDIS seemed to emit a sort of frustrated groan, then went back to the normal machine noises for a while. Happy to not be annoyed anymore, I walked down the TARDIS hallways with a smirk of satisfaction on my face. The hallways became pretty long with very frustrating circles, bends, and random walls in my way, so I assumed I was finally getting to the right place. I walked around to what seemed like nowhere for a really long time, only to arrive at the console room once again. Oh, but this time, everyone noticed me standing at the entrance.

They were still in that conversation they had when I left, involving big buildings on TV screens or something, which I thought was strange, but one by one, they stopped their conversation and stared at me. Boyfriend Dude, however, seemed to be the most surprised.

"But you were right next to me a second ago! How'd you get over there?" He stared at me with shock, which made me feel rather uncomfortable, but I regained my composure in a matter of seconds.

"Is it even possible for you to be so ignorant to only notice me being gone right now? I've been wandering around for at least half and hour, and only when I show up again you realized I was gone?"

"Why the nerve of-"

Uh oh, now Boyfriend Dude seems ready to punch my face right into oblivion. Stupid big mouth! Thankfully the Wright-ster, my homie, interrupted him just before he walked up to me.

"Actually, I saw you over here a minute ago as well. It pretty much seems that you teleported,"

Alright, now I was _really_ confused.

"No, I swear, I was walking around for ages! In circles, mostly, but still! My legs even started to get sore." Ugh, TARDIS shenanigans. Susan and Grumpy Old Man didn't seem to be very phased by all this timey wimey madness though. But the two teachers seemed skeptical, and Grumpy Old Guy seemed to notice this.

"Not quite clear, is it? I can see by your face that you're not certain. You don't understand,"

I was itching to tell him, 'Yes! I do understand! I'm not an idiot!' but I kept my mouth shut.

"And I knew you wouldn't. Never mind. Now then, which switch was it? No. No, no. Ah yes, that is it. The point is not whether you understand. What is going to happen to you, hmm? They'll tell everybody about the ship now." Oh come on, they won't tell nobody! Just let these dorks go home and let me see the Doctor. Simplest plan ever.

"Ship?" Boyfriend Dude still can't comprehend all this, the poor thing.

"Yes, yes, ship. This doesn't roll along on wheels, you know!" Nice observation, Sherlock.

"You mean it moves?" No, of course not, Wright-ster, they just have a huge console here with many buttons and levers and things to play _chess _on.

"The TARDIS can go anywhere!" Mhm, Susan, tell me something I don't know.

"TARDIS? I don't understand you, Susan." Not that hard, people! Well, I guess they are from the 60's, and have never seen a TARDIS, so I gotta cut them some slack.

"Well, I made up the name Tardis from the initials," Dafuq? Susan, you and I both know that TARDISes (TARDISi? What's the plural of TARDIS? Well I guess the plural isn't important since all but one are dead.) were created on Gallifrey, therefore not named by you.

"Time And Relative Dimension In Space. I thought you'd both understand when you saw the different dimensions inside from those outside," Susan, have you _seen_ their reactions to absolutely everything?! Not a snowball's chance in Hell they'd predict the freakin name of this machine!

"Just let me get this straight. A thing that looks like a police box, standing in a junkyard, it can move anywhere in time and space?" Do we have to repeat everything, Boyfriend Dude?

"Yes," went Susan.

"Quite so," said Grumpy Old Guy.

"Mmhm," I nodded in affirmation. Everyone stared. "What? I'm, umm, taking your word for it!" Cheesy grin, everyone stopped staring. Phew.

"But that's ridiculous!" Oh Boyfriend Dude, do you need a trip in the TARDIS to prove it? Not that I want to go anywhere with you. "Georgia, how could you possibly believe such nonsense?"

"Hey, I have my...reasons."

"But why won't they believe us?"

"How can we?" Oh Barbara...just gotta be more open minded!

Well, I decided to comfort Susan, she seems pretty upset.

"Yo Susan, even though I totally believe you, you gotta be patient with them, they're from the 1960's! They barely have color TV!" Trying to help the situation, just trying to help! Wait, did I just reveal I'm not from the-

"And are we supposed to believe you're not from 1963, Georgia?"

Aw crap, the secret's out!


	5. In Which I Almost Get Murderlized

**AN: Hey there special friends! I'm baaaaaack! I got off my lazy butt and did something. Posting might be a bit slow, because the only time I can write this is either during lunch or when I'm supposed to be asleep. This episode is almost done, but there's still the whole serial to get through. This is going to be one exhausting fanfic to write. **

**Georgia's going to find out about the Doctor sometime soon, but I'm not telling when. By the way, I've written more for this fanfic than any other fanfic before, so that's nice. I used to give up after around three chapters, so consider yourself lucky I ain't no quitter anymore.**

**Enjoy!**

"Sure as hell I am! I can list off major events and inventions from the 21st century for you SOBs all day just to prove it! Screw this Popsicle stand, I'm going to find the Doctor!"

That's what I secretly wanted to say, and I was imagining myself putting on cool shades and riding off in the TARDIS with Ten or Eleven by my side while leaving those teachers behind in Retroland weeping bitter tears of sorrow and regret. But no, the logical side of my brain decided against this, so I was stuck with saying, "Of course I am from 1963, where else would I be from?" This was followed by so many nervous chuckles I may have been having an attack. Of chuckles.

Yeah, you read that right.

Well, this pretty obvious cover-up seemed satisfactory for everyone but Grumpy Old Guy, who was looking at me suspiciously. But soon enough, he cleared his throat and addressed Susan, who was upset that Poof-hair Wright and Boyfriend Dude _still_ didn't believe them about...well, everything.

"Now, now, don't get exasperated, Susan. Remember the Red Indian. When he saw the first steam train, his savage mind thought it an illusion, too."

WOAH, WOAH, WOAH, HOLD UP A MOMENT THERE! STOP THE FANFIC!

Did he really just say that?! I wasn't making that up?! I don't care that these guys are from the 60's, that was pretty damn racist and totally unexpected. Red Indian?! Savage mind?! Maybe I'm being a little sensitive, but he could've chosen ANYTHING else for comparison and it could've been less racist. Jerk. Wow, Grumpy Old Guy, you definitely are making me like you less and less. I shall keep standing here as to not disturb the conversation you're having with my two Retroland homies, but I'm totally giving you a Georgia Patented Multi-Purpose Deathglare.

"You're treating us like children!" Apparently Boyfriend Dude is mad as well, but for different reasons. Now Grumpy Old Guy started scoffing at him.

"Am I? The children of my civilization would be insulted,"

Wait, 'my civilization'? What the freakin hell does he mean by that?

"Your civilization?" Oh, I guess Boyfriend Dude doesn't know either. Yay.

"Yes, my civilization. I tolerate this century, but I don't enjoy it. Have you ever thought what it's like to be wanderers in the fourth dimension? Have you? To be exiles? Susan and I are cut off from our own planet, without friends or protection. But one day we shall get back. Yes, one day. One day," Alright, so the Doctor picked up some homesick human-shaped aliens. Lovely.

I snort at him rather rudely, but I _was_ pretty angry from the whole racist thing, and his general unpleasant attitude. "Your planet? And what planet is that? Planet of the Apes? No way a nice girl like Susan and _you_ could ever come from the same galaxy, much less planet!" Okay, maybe that was a bit uncalled for, but again, I _really _didn't like him at this point, I can't control what comes out of my mouth at all, and I'm pretty damn frustrated about this entire situation. I just gotta vent some anger eventually.

And I know, I know, I insulted an old man who just a few seconds ago was longing for his home, and _maybe _I regret that. But when my patience runs out, all hell breaks loose, and it pours right out of my mouth. What can I say, I've been this way since I learned to speak, and it's gotten me into a buttload of trouble. And this time around, it's gotten me two shocked teachers, a frightened Susan, and a _very_ angry old man who is becoming scarier and scarier by the second. He somehow got next to me really quickly and grabbed my arm in another Deathgrip. This one made Boyfriend Dude's grip feel like a butterfly gently vomiting flowers on my arm in comparison.

"You listen to me, you foolish girl!" Holy crapcakes, I'm genuinely fearing for my poor arm over here, because I'm pretty sure he's cutting off circulation at the moment, and he looks like he's a micrometer away from bitchslapping the hell out of me. "You think you can barge into my ship and hurl insults at me like there's no tomorrow? I'd throw you out of this TARDIS right now, but you and your accomplices have already seen too much. If I release you you'd just go spout out your experiences to the nearest person who'd listen!" Holy crap, holy crap, I'm totally gonna die. He said we know too much, and every movie ever has taught me that when people say that, they're about to murderlize the hell out of everyone. And Death by Crazy Old Man is definitely not the way I want to go.

"Grandfather, please calm down!" Susan grabs the old man's arm and pries it off of mine. Susan for the win! You are _so_ much better than your crazy grandfather! Even if you're trying to get me out of here. I'm not especially interested in leaving this time machine, mostly because I'll never get this chance ever again in my life.

Actually, I think getting away from this old man really seems like the safer option.

Wait, but they all think I'm from 1963. They'd return me to there and I'll have to live in the wrong time for the rest of my life, having the burden of knowing future events. I could try and change history if I really wanted to. I even have history notes from my old class on my phone, if I have my phone at all. Do I? Wow, all this time and I haven't even checked. I quickly put my hands in my pockets and to my joy, there it was! All those bad things I've learned about in history, I could try changing! I could invest in big companies before they're big and become a millionaire!

But can that compare to traveling in the TARDIS? This is my dream life we're talking about here, the dream I've yearned for ever since I first saw the episode "Rose". But I never thought I'd have to deal with Old Guy, King of the Grumps.

While I was pondering all this, Susan says to us, "You don't know what you've done coming in here," and turns back to the old man. "She's probably only acting this way because she's scared. I've interacted with humans more, Grandfather, so I understand these people better than you. Their minds reject things they don't understand, and sometimes they end up lashing out!"

"You've made a good point, Susan, but I'm still not letting them go."

"Grandfather, let them go, please!"

"No."

Eh, I'm fine with that. As long as Supposedly Alien Grumpy Old Guy takes a hike and leaves me the hell alone, I'm cool with staying here in the TARDIS. Even if it means not being a millionaire.

"He can't keep us here." I don't think he wants to, Boyfriend Dude. I think he just wants to drop us all off in the nearest volcano and Susan's the only thing stopping him. This is why I vote for Susan as TARDIS trip-planner, at least until the Doctor comes back and stops this crazy old alien man.

"Susan, listen to me. Can't you see that all this is an illusion? It's a game that you and grandfather are playing, if you like, but you can't expect us to believe it. Georgia may believe it as much as you do, but well...she's Georgia."

"It's not a game!" Yeah, you tell 'em, sister!

"But Susan-"

"It's not! Look, I love your school. I loved England in the twentieth century. The last five months have been the happiest of my life,"

Woaaah, the Doctor somehow agreed to stay in one place for Susan and her grandpa to enjoy England and live in the parked TARDIS for five entire months? I thought he hated settling down! No wonder he's missing, he's probably knocked out unconcious from boredom.

"But you are one of us. You look like us, you sound like us,"

Susan started looking a bit distant. "I was born in another time, another world." Well, duh. Grumpy Old Man already said they were both from another planet. Oh, look, Boyfriend Dude looks tired of all this crap! This just took a turn for the interesting.

"Now look here, Susan, you. Oh, come on, Barbara, Georgia, let's get out of here," Noooooooooooo! I didn't come all this way just for them to drag me back out! Wait, didn't the old man say we've seen too much and he won't let us go out?

"It's no use, you can't get out. He won't let you go!" Ah, thanks for clarifying, Susan!

And once again, Boyfriend Dude decides to take matters into his own hands by rushing to the controls. Oh boy, this will NOT end well.


	6. In Which My Dreams Nearly Get Crushed

**AN: Greetings, my good readers! I have somehow managed to finish chapter 7 over the weekend after procrastinating a lot, so you good folk get chapter six today! Hurrah! **

**Well you guys are really going to hate me for the ending to this one. Or maybe you won't. Who knows. But just wait for what I have in store for chapter eight.**

***disappears in a poof of red smoke while laughing evilly***

"He closed the doors from over there. I saw him. Now, which is it? Which is it? Which control operates the door?" Pfft, you think that grump knows how to operate this thing? It was probably pure luck that he hit the right controls for the door before!

"You still think it's all an illusion?" Oh come on! How could anyone still think it's an illusion at this point?!

"I know that free movement in time and space is a scientific dream I don't expect to find solved in a junkyard!" Does anyone expect anything anymore? Just roll with it, Boyfriend Dude.

"Your arrogance is nearly as great as your ignorance." Oh snap! Grumpy McGrump is a master of classy burns!

...

I still don't like him.

"Will you open the door? Open the door!" Boyfriend Dude yells desperately. Wow, you sure are demanding for someone who is basically a prisoner at the moment. "Susan, will you help us?" And Boyfriend Dude is still desperate!

"I mustn't!" Susan?! What the heck?! Forget your creepy grandpa and just help these poor Retroland folk. Oh, and Susan, I know you love your grandfather, but for the safety of us all, I recommend that you lock him up somewhere. I really think he's going to murder us all for "knowing too much." I've seen enough movies to know where this is going.

"Very well then, I have to risk it myself." Ian rushes over to the console as Susan screams, "Don't touch it, it's live!" Zappity zap, Boyfriend Dude gets shocked. Litterally shocked. By electricity. Sure sucks to be him.

"Ian, what on Earth do you think you're doing?!" Oh, his name is Ian? Wow, the more you know...

"Grandfather, let them go now, please!" Susan, you've asked a million times already, you really think it's going to work now?

"And by tomorrow we shall be a pubic spectacle, a subject for news and idle gossip." Hah! Totally called it! Wait, that's not a good thing, he's still not letting them go.

"But they won't say anything!" Alright Susan, you're not getting anywhere for my Retroland buddies, so I'll put some of my own opinion into this conversation. I haven't really said anything in a while and I have my "Most Talkative Student in the Known Universe" reputation to uphold! Well, the reputation I have earned among teachers anyway. I clear my throat and begin to speak.

"Well actually they-"

"My dear child, of course they will. Put yourself in their place. They are bound to make some sort of a complaint to the authorities, or at the very least talk to their friends. If I do let them go, Susan, you realize of course we must go, too."

Aaaand when I finally decide to talk, I get cut off by the Grumpster! I grumble a bit frustratedly under my breath as they continue.

"No, Grandfather, we've had all this out before."

"There's no alternative, child."

"I want to stay!" What's so great about 1963 Earth, Susan? Why not go somewhere more exciting? "But they're both kind people. Why won't you trust them? All you've got to do is ask them to promise to keep our secret."

"Also, if they talk about this to anyone they'll probably be thrown into a mental hospital." I throw in. Finally, I can speak! "I mean, this entire story is going to sound insane to anyone who hears it!" Unless UNIT or Torchwood gets involved, but I'm going to leave that little detail out. I've grown to like my Retroland homies, you know. I wanna help em out.

Well, Gramps the Grump starts glaring at me. Ha, he's probably just mad that I'm right! I toss him my very own Deathglare in return.

"It's still out of the question." Oh come on!

"I won't go, Grandfather. I won't leave the twentieth century. I'd rather leave the TARDIS and you!" I can see why she'd want to leave this weirdo, but the TARDIS? That's pretty extreme! And why hasn't she mentioned the Doctor at all?

"Now you're being sentimental and childish." Hey, you know, she technically is kind of a child or teen or something. She's around sixteen, I think...

"No, I mean it!"

"Very well. Then you must go with them. I'll open the door."

"Eh, you know, I actually like it here. It's nice and cozy, plus I don't have a home in this uni- ummm, nevermind. But I'm staying."

Everyone stared at me for a few moments.

"Hey! It's not like I actually have anywhere to go! Staying in this lovely time machine seems to be my best option." Grumpy McGrumperstein did not seem overly enthusiastic about this. In fact, I think he might have been twitching a bit.

"Here, I'll just open the door and you can _leave_," he said in a somewhat strained voice.

"Are you coming, Susan?" Well, Ian and Ms. Wright might've been happy to leave, but my dreams have pretty much been crushed right now. I turn to the door, feeling pretty sorry for myself again. I swear could almost hear those sad violins playing.

"Oh no Grandfather! No!" Susan cried out. Suddenly, the TARDIS starts to shake, and the engine sound comes on. I quickly turn back to the console and whatdya know! That sneaky bastard just starting flying the TARDIS out of this Popsicle stand! I think the Grump and Susan starting fighting a little bit, but I was too delighted to care. I started laughing from the thought of traveling with the Doctor when he shows up. I didn't give much thought to the fact that Susan's grandfather could fly the TARDIS, and before I could realize what was wrong with this picture, the TARDIS suddenly jerked sideways and CLONK. I noted the throbbing pain in my head and barely had time to think 'Oh crap' before everything faded into darkness.


	7. In Which I Discover Something Shocking

**AN: Oh. My. God. I am so sorry. Looks like I kept you guys waiting again. Whoops. I just realized that I left you guys hanging since FREAKIN SEPTEMBER. Sorry, it's just been hard with school and all. **

**Well, it's already December, so I was like, "Eh, I'm not even done with chapter 8 but screw it, I've left them waiting for waaaay too long." So enjoy this chapter! **

_Ugggh._ My head.

What just happened? Oh, seems like I finally woke up from that crazy dream. My head hurts so bad, I really don't want to open my eyes just yet. What happened last night to make my head feel like it's in the middle of a jackhammer rampage? I must've been at a party with Carly where somebody brought out the funky juice. Stupid hangovers.

"Carly I had the craziest dream." I half mumble, half groan. "I was in the TARDIS with two 1960's teachers and some old guy with some serious issues and the Doctor was nowhere to be seen and I swear it felt just like real life and-"

I finally open my eyes, and what do I see? One 1960's teacher and an old guy with some serious issues staring back at me.

Boyfriend Dude, or Ian as he is apparently called, started to open his mouth.

"Shush." I press a finger to his mouth in an attempt to shut him up before he says anything. "Do NOT say a word."

He squints his eyes at me for a second and walks over to Ms. Wright, who has just woken up.

"Ian? Ian."

"I'm alright. We all must've hit our heads. The movement's stopped."

Thank you Captain Obvious. I would never have known that we have stopped moving it weren't for you!

Susan's apparently already up and about. I guess she was expecting all that movement so she held on to something. "The base is steady," she says. Whatever that means.

"Layer of sand, rock formation. Good." Grumpster says to her.

"We've left 1963." Susan says sadly. Why so sad, Susan? Adventure awaits, or some crap like that.

"Oh, yes, undoubtedly. I'll be able to tell you where presently."

"Wait, how did you get us here? How'd you fly the TARDIS?! Where's the Doctor?!" I ask/yell at Forrest Grump. He ignores me, that asshole.

"Zero? That's not right. I'm afraid this yearometer is not calculating properly. Hm! Well, anyway, the journey's finished." Oh, so the "Yearometer" isn't working, boo hoo hoo. It isn't even yours, why are you so upset?

He turns to Ian. "What are you doing down there?"

Ian don't answer. Ian don't care.

"What have you done?" Oh Barbara, isn't it obvious? He just somehow drove a centuries old time machine that is bigger on the inside and shaped like a blue box. This isn't rocket science. Or maybe it kinda is. Eh.

"Barbara, you don't believe all this nonsense?" Can't you just believe what you're seeing?

"Well, look at the scanner screen."

"Yes, look up there. They don't understand and I suspect they don't want to. Well, there you are. A new world for you."

"Sand and rock?" Ian is not impressed, and neither am I.

"Yes, that's the immediate view outside the ship."

"But where are we?" Ah, but you see, my good Retroland friend, the true question is: _when_ are we? Also, WHERE THE FRICKIN FRICK IS THE DOCTOR?!

"You mean that's what we'll see when we go outside?" Duh. What exactly do you think those scanners are for? Showing you some completely unrelated area?

"Yes, you'll see it for yourself." I nod slightly in agreement.

"I don't believe it." I shake my head sadly. Why do they not believe anything? Speaking of not believing, I gotta introduce them to some sweet 80's jams sometime.

"You really are a stubborn young man, aren't you?" Gasp! What's this? This cannot be! Something both me and Grumpy Grump agree on?!

"Alright, show me some proof. Give me some concrete evidence. I'm sorry, Susan, I don't want to hurt you, but it's time you were brought back to reality." But this is reality!

"But you're wrong, Mr. Chesterton!"

"They are saying I'm a charlatan. What concrete evidence would satisfy you?" Heh, at this point, I really don't know, Mr. Grump.

"Just open the doors, Dr. Foreman." Ian is getting tired of all of the Grump's crap. Wait, he's a doctor? And his last name's Foreman? Oh yeah, I think Susan's last name is Foreman. But wait that's just the name of that junkyard the TARDIS was in so-

"Eh? Doctor who? What's he talking about?"

_Click._

Suddenly, everything makes sense.

No. Frickin. Way.


End file.
